Tuesday, August 11, 2009

LSU's Schedule: University of Georgia (notable alumni)

Brian Burton a.k.a. Danger Mouse. DJ, Producer and half of Gnarls Barkley.



"Hello, Newman." Actor Wayne Knight of Seinfeld fame.



Ryan Seacrest, host of American Idol.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Lipogram

Both Scott and Williams pack a punch at tailback, and Richard Dugas could turn into a star at fullback. JoJo is back to catch Jordan's throws, with Ciron Black and Richard Dickson assisting and blocking. Gary Crowton is a coordinating wizard.

Chad, who can also pitch, is a star in LSU's back four along with Patrick, Hawkins and possibly Brandon Taylor or Ron Brooks. Rahim is a truck, as is Harry and Lazarius. John Chavis is a brilliant coordinator who will bring a particular spark that was missing all of last fall. Joyous days coming for LSU's maniac fans.




The above two paragraphs were made without the letter "E". This year marks the seventieth anniversary of Ernest Vincent Wright's famed novel "Gadsby: Champion of Youth", a 50,000 word novel that does not use a single letter "E".

EDIT: As one reader pointed out, there is an E in Jones, and in Passionate. Oops. I edited it.

Dang, I double-checked and triple checked and everything. Oh well.

Josh Downs can hit!

http://www.nola.com/lsu/index.ssf/2009/08/when_josh_downs_hits_a_dummy_a.html

Now this is what I like to hear. If you're a defensive tackle, I don't give a damn about how big you are or how fast you can run forty yards. I want to know how well you hit. The coaches are very excited about our D-line class.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

LSU's Schedule: Mississippi State (notable alumni)

Before Jerry Clower was a comedian, he played football for the Mississippi State Bulldogs.



John Grisham, writer of legal thrillers, Miss State alum.



Jonathan Papelbon, Red Sox closer, former Bulldog pitcher.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Sidell Corley to transfer closer to home while his family deals with tragedy

http://blog.al.com/press-register-sports/2009/08/former_mcgill_star_corley_leav.html

Sidell Corley, who was expected to provide depth along LSU's D-Line this year, dealt with unspeakable tragedy during the offseason. Last May, Sidell's mother was shot and killed in her own home in Mobile, Alabama. Just a week later, Sidell's uncle drowned to death.

Understandably, Sidell wants to be closer to home, and he has requested a transfer to either Alabama or Auburn. Coach Miles, being the "honorable man" he is, "stepped up to the plate and thought about [Sidell's] welfare", according to Corley Sr.

Corley will apply for a hardship waiver, which would allow him to play immediately instead of having to sit for all of next season, which is the standard for transfers. The thoughts and prayers of Save Toonces and hopefully all of Tiger Nation are with Sidell and his family, and I wish him the best of luck in all of his future endeavors.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Louis Coleman's face finally added to his milb.com profile



http://web.minorleaguebaseball.com/milb/stats/stats.jsp?pos=P&sid=milb&t=p_pbp&pid=488786

It should be noted that Louis Coleman has been great for the Class A Burlington Bees. In his 3 appearances, he has pitched 5.2 innings with an ERA of 0.00, just one hit, just one walk and 5 strikeouts. He has already earned a save and a win. The Burlington Bees are affiliated with the Kansas City Royals. Keep making us proud, Louis!

I feel bad for Michael Oher.

The story of Michael Oher has become legend among fans of the SEC. For those who haven't heard it, listen up: Michael Oher is a large homeless teenager living on the streets of Memphis. He is adopted by a rich white family that nurtures him. He discovers football and the fact that he's very large, and he gets a scholarship to go to Ole Miss, where he becomes an All-American.

His story has been turned into a terrific book called the Blind Side. There has also been a movie adaptation made.

And that's where the problem lies. I saw the trailer, and WOW, it's bad. I mean, like, really bad. I will refrain from embedding the trailer in this blog because it is REALLY REALLY BAD.

First off, the movie's Oher has zero character, and they never show him being aggressive or anything. They make him look so WEAK. FOR GOD'S SAKES HE'S A 350 LB BLACK MAN LIVING ON THE STREETS OF MEMPHIS. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO MAKE HIM LOOK WEAK! Somehow, Oher becomes friends with this extremely annoying nine-year-old white kid (who is somehow unintimidated), and one rainy night, he and his mother spot him on the side of the road, and Sandra Bullock (she SUCKS, btw) immediately shoves Oher into her SUV and takes him to live in their house.

Now maybe it's just me, but wouldn't there be a little more distrust at first? This wealthy white woman is just going to let a massive black man living on the streets of Memphis into her house? That initial distrust between the family and Oher should have been included 1. because it makes more sense and 2. because it adds drama and tension to the film.

Then the film goes out of its way to include tons of cliches, like Oher weightlifting his nine-year-old best friend and Momma Bullock giving Michael a speech about how his team is so important, all of this set to an extremely cheesy soundtrack.

It's just so SAPPY. They took a gritty tale of determination and they Hollywooded the fuck out of it.

Okay, so I don't feel THAT bad for Michael Oher. He did play for the enemy (well, Auburn and Florida are the enemies and Ole Miss is like fourth-place on the enemy hierarchy, but LSU is Ole Miss's number one enemy) and he's a rich man now, being a first-round draft pick by the Baltimore Ravens. But still, when you turn a true-life story like this into a movie, usually it only happens once, and they really blew it.

Yeesh.

Monday, August 3, 2009

LSU's schedule: University of Louisiana-Lafayette (Interesting alumni)


Before he was a Pro Bowl QB for the Carolina Panthers, Jake Delhomme played for the Ragin' Cajuns of UL-L.




Before Louisiana had Bobby Jindal, we had Kathleen Blanco, a Democrat who attended University of Louisiana- Lafayette.




No, Big Black did NOT go to UL-L, but his disapproving look reflects my opinion of the interestingness of this school's alumni. A governer and Jake Del-lame? Do work, son.

LSU's Schedule: Vanderbilt (Notable Alumni)



Before Jay Cutler was a Pro Bowl QB for the Broncos and the Bears, he was the golden boy of the Vanderbilt Commodores.




Al and Tipper Gore both went to Vanderbilt.




50's sex icon Bettie Page attended Peabody College before it merged with Vanderbilt.




James Patterson, best-selling thriller novelist, went to Vanderbilt.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Questions I plan on asking football players if I get the chance to do interviews.

What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

What did you learn from last year?

How are you doing in school?

What's the funniest thing a teammate has said in the locker room?

What is your favorite thing about Coach Miles?

If you were a baseball player, what position would you want to play? What song would be your batting music?

Who is your favorite member of the basketball team? Of the baseball team besides Chad Jones?

What is your favorite video game?

What is your best academic accomplishment?

What is your favorite Beatles album?

Which football player is the best at billiards?

What is your favorite Youtube video?

What was your favorite Nickelodeon show?

Which LSU football player is the funniest? Who is the nicest?

What is your favorite piece of the chicken?

Which LSU player can eat the most?



Alternatively, I would let the player interview me instead.

the many emotions of Rueben Randle.





LSU's schedule: Washington (great alums)



Before Bob Sapp was an oversized MMA fighter, he played football for U-Dub.




Kenny G went to Washington as well. He also holds the world record for blowing.




Bruce Lee. Need I say more?

Our probable starting lineup (in anagrams).

QB: Jean Fjord Refs On
RB: Scratches Lot
RB: A Mislaid Inkwell
WR: Landfall Boner
WR: Carnivore Letter
TE: Rancid Rock Dish
LT: Brain Clock
LG: Hazy Jock Words
C: Ebb Betroth
RG: Ethyl Lit
RT: Baked Pearls Josh

DE: Stun A Zillion Graves
DT: Soda Owl
DT: Snake Diver
DE: Hammer Ali
LB: Ire Lyre Pry
LB: Horny Caramel
LB: Cute Jar Cobra
CB: Rickshaw Shin
SS: Enthrall Hacker
FS: Dance Josh
CB: Spaceport Tinker

WELCOME TO SAVE TOONCES

the new worst LSU blog ever. Tigerdroppings sux lol.